Thoughts of a Narcoleptic Mind

Sometimes I forget how smart and capable I really am I let what others say sway me from believing what I know is the actual truth I sometimes joke in an attempt to hide all these feelings that I keep locked inside knowing those not like me can never understand Sometimes I forget I am destined to do more I give in to the desire to just give up I forget how strong I really am that I am not weak and my Narcolepsy is not all that I am and that every hour I continue to fight I gain more power to overcome any plight that the devil may see fit to throw my way Sometimes I forget it doesn't matter what others say they don't walk the paths that I walk each day after day They will never know never understand what it is to be me I forget that their words shouldn't hurt because they aren't worth the value of dirt Sometimes I forget there is a fighter in me I forget how far I have come to get closer to the place I want to be I forget that no matter how tired I get or how much I fe

I write because sometimes we all forget that there are others who go through the same things. Sometimes we can alienate ourselves thinking there is no-one who can relate, no-one who can understand. It is easy to shut everyone out to avoid disappointment. I write to share to remind us that there is always someone who cares. We are never alone in our endeavors no matter how alone it may seem we are. There is always someone who has gone through, is going through, or will go through. God has his little reminders and I like to think that I am one of them, that there is always hope and always someone who can relate and there are always angels watching over us.

How blessed I am though I sometimes forget my way and sometimes I forget how to pray but through it all He continuously shows me grace How blessed I am to be me Blessed by the faults that enhance my abilities Every foible every flaw every imperfection contributes to all my strength, my determination,  my me They contribute to who I aspire to be I am blessed by my ability to learn my desire to grow and refusal to run away from those things I most fear and the determination to not let those fears manifest into my reality How blessed I am that God gave me a desire to fight to continue to strive to achieve higher and to do what is right in spite of the fact it doesn't conform to the popular agenda But with the resistance to conform I evolve drawing closer to the destiny set forth for me to fulfill embracing life's lessons and all of God's blessings How blessed I am to be me created by God's loving hands in His image this entity that is me

I must be optimistic to carry me through the pain This burden I carry is mine and mine alone I have to look for the bright side to keep the darkness from swallowing me whole There is no other option no other solution It is the only way to keep my soul from going so cold There is a cross I have to bear It is a cross I carry alone With it comes a fear that there will never be understanding so it is a cross I will forever carry on my own So I look for every little blessing in every day searching frantically through this haze that is my existence, my being it is my life No-one really knows who I am because with this cross there comes a shame of how I have to struggle to remain sane It is my eternal battle to forever carry while on this earth So each day I look for a reason as to why I must go through this endless season find the positive, the gift in this chronic haze in which I live I search for the blessings and take with me the lessons in the messages in my head that I constantly hear I

I slipped into a place where I said I would never again go I slipped with the one who I so long ago came to know I went to that place to find comfort in his arms with the one whose come to know me and accepts me in spite of all of my flaws I slipped with the one who says no labels even after eight years of back and forth and I know I need to turn these tables cut my losses take a stand for what I am worth There is no quarter way, no half way, no compromise I will not settle not even just a little If you can't go the full distance with me what makes you think you deserve the prize So I slipped but I will get back up even stronger in my gait cause in the distance at the finish is someone spectacular waiting for me lying await.

Natural Beauty

Treasure

As Time Progresses

Why Him

Self-absorbed I don't care anymore about the struggle, the tragedy, the plight  What are society's problems aren't mine so I continue to turn a blind eye  Ignore the battles our people have to fight Oblivious but not unaware I just choose not to care as long as I have my money, my Honeys straight I am not worried about their downside cause you know I got my fly ride And plenty of money in the bank Apathetic to the pain in the streets Why should I care it don't affect me I got mine to my kingdom I hold my own key Well I've lost it all now I had friends they care no more about my struggle , my agony, my plight  I've become just another one of society's problems and now to my fight everyone turns a blind eye  Ignoring the battles this once lost child of God fights Empathetic, Sympathetic I've been forced to become to the pain that abounds in these streets Now I see why I should have cared Because I should have realized that person

Faith

Precious

Like the leaf fallen from a tree so many times I tried to leave But the winds seem to always blow me back again Like water to a rose from many tears I have grown A stronger woman blossoming from my bountiful rain But in the midst of the storm there is always a glimmer of sun Bringing light  to the darkest of days And it outshines it outlasts even the darkest of fights from the past Making it worth resisting the temptation to run Through the years I have weathered the storms though tattered and a bit torn And like the strongest of trees I still stand I have grown I have evolved and I have learned above all How to reap the wonderful rewards  of the the rainfall

My breakthrough is on the horizon My change is about to come My eyes are gleaming brightly preparing for the coming of my sun A new day will be dawning Fresh blessings will begin Everything that's been damaged will be made brand new again My breakthrough is on the horizon My change is about to come And with that breakthrough arriving I will welcome a new journey that has also begun.

Let's reclaim the great name they tried to take away on a day long ago when fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters were stolen from their homes Let's reclaim our predestined thrones, our titles of king and queen our families and our homes Let's reclaim our children we have given over to the streets Reclaim our power we were a people born to lead Let's reclaim our position's of husbands and wives till death do us part for the rest of our lives Let's reclaim the name of sisters and brothers who fight for and uplift one another to make our neighborhood great for our children Let's reclaim our dignity our pride put petty differences aside so our great people together can thrive Let's reclaim our streets and our cities take them back from the litany of abuses we have allowed for too long Let's reclaim everything Shout it out, sing, proclaim, We reclaim We reclaim We reclaim

So you think you hard cause you throw around some words Because you know how to talk tough or because you sex a lot of girls So you think it makes you a man cause you do all these things The same things that a bunch of other brothers do same gimick same game Let me tell you it ain't nothing special so you can throw around some cuss words It doesn't take any intelligence to hang out all day with the homies all day on the curb You want to show the world you're a real man what a true king you can be Show the world you are strong enough be be different Lead by your individuality A real man is not afraid to show vision, show courage, show heart A real man is not afraid to make a positive difference instead of being content on society's problems playing a part Until you are willing to take some pride, some accountability in what you do To the world you aren't a true man You're just a little boy playing in a grown man's shoes

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You fought and died with dignity to gain respect for my races humanity You prayed not cursed through bigotry and ignorance You persevered through hatred and intolerance But through slight of mouth we disregard the respect for our people of which you fought so hard My heart so bleeds whenever I hear the lack of love reflected in speech for my people who in my heart I hold so dear You fought and died with dignity to gain respect for my people's humanity Through trials and tribulation you always displayed grace A glowing reflection you were for a proud and beautiful race But just a few ugly words from the tongue can undo all you have done And overshadow the indignities you suffered so that we could all live together as one My heart so does bleed whenever I see sister calling out sister brother calling out brother And I wonder how such beautifully created people could display such a lack of love for themselves and each other You fought and died with dignity you silently cried and you b