Thoughts of a Narcoleptic Mind

I love the way people keep telling me to go back to work. Yes, go get a job I can't because I stopped working by choice. Go back to work because I didn't practically torture myself to keep working for the last couple of years despite my neurologist and pcp's advisement? Go back to work in spite of the horrible attacks two to three times a day that hold your body hostage so you can do nothing but lie there and pray they end soon? Go back to work so I can give the social security administration another reason to deny the case I have been fighting three years for? Go back to work to deal with the devastating cognitive impairment, automatic behavior, not remembering what I did or said two seconds ago and hoping it wasn't something that could get me fired? Go back to work until my body starts fighting me back again to the point where I fall in the middle of crossing a street or expressway and have to force myself to make it across before that oncoming traffic starts coming?

Do you know someone with Narcolepsy / Cataplexy and don't realize it? Here are some things to look for. Narcolepsy: fragmented sleep, irresistible urges to sleep, waking up from sleep feeling unrefreshed, sleep paralysis, vivid dreams, automatic behavior,  falling asleep at inopportune times, diminished cognitive thinking skills, hallucinations, lucid dreaming, going into dream state within a matter of seconds, ie: I can nod off for a few seconds and have a complete dream that seems like I slept hours. Cataplexy: Partal to complete loss of muscle tone, slurred speech, dropping items. Cataplexy attack may be confused with epileptic seizures. If the person is fully aware of what is going on around them, while seeming to be unconscious, it is very possibly Cataplexy. Also, if the pupils look like a pin point as opposed to enlarging or dilating (as with epilepsy) it could be a Cataplexy attack. The average time to get a correct diagnosis is ten to fifteen years. Many people with Nar