Thoughts of a Narcoleptic Mind

I know I sound like a broken record, but I really believe most people underestimate how debilitating Narcolepsy is. I don't just mean physically, but mentally too. My cognitive functioning is so impaired that I will literally forget how to get where I am going in the middle of driving. I honestly don't know how I managed before Google Maps. There have been times when I have driven to the grocery store and forgotten how to get there while driving. I have driven down roads and gotten confused because I didn't recognize where I was, even though I had driven down that same road dozens upon dozens of times before. Google Maps really is my best friend. Even if I think I know where I am going, I still use Maps.

Can you see what lies beyond Enamored by an aesthetic vision Are you able to breathe in all of the colors that make her not just pretty, but perfectly blend to make her an imperfect masterpiece She is one of many colors She is the color of strength, resiliency, and determination She is the color of passion, compassion, empathy, and understanding She wears her colors proudly, but do you really see them because she will only acknowledge those with the willingness to acknowledge the beauty that lies beyond

I would like to think that I have a very good sense of humor. I would like to think I am not overly sensitive,but sometimes I wish people would be more careful with their statements. People love to make snide comments about people who take the bus, people who are in housing, people who are homeless, people who are jobless, etc, like it makes them lowly. I have been through all of these and I am struggling just to finish out the next year, before I stop working again. Almost everyone who knows me knows I have been through battles. Most know I spent a brief stint in the psychiatric ward after attempting suicide. I let others views and standards let me get to a point where I felt worthless, like I was burdensome and it broke me. Almost everyone who knows me knows that I have been homeless, sleeping out in the Haven for Hope courtyard with drug addicts and ex cons. I have learned to refuse to be ashamed of anything I  have gone through because I know most people that talk shit, could n...

I don't know how many times I have had this conversation. Yes, I can push myself to try to be productive for a bit, but there are sooooo many things that people do everyday without thinking about, that put me in a bad place. Some days, I can't wash dishes without using a chair. Most days, I am late for work because no matter how early I force myself to wake up, it still might be two hours before I can really force myself to move. Making a trip to HEB can drain me for the rest of the day. I have to choose my tasks wisely, and I won't lie, my apartment isn't all spotless. It can take me several weeks to finish putting up my laundry. I barely cook anymore because it is just too much on my body. But know this; I am by far from lazy. People like me aren't lazy. It takes a strength and a determination to push through that most people will never understand. I get that. But for those like me, those pushing through, know that you are amazing. You are strong. You are worthy. ...

George and Willie Muse People don't understand why a pancake box is offensive because they don't know the true history of slavery. They weren't taught the true history of slavery. We weren't taught the true history. We were given brief glimpses. It was skimmed over. They don't realize that while the acts that they have read about, have seen in movies are beyond atrocious, they don't even begin to touch the even more inhumane, evil acts that were inflicted upon us. They have no clue about buck breaking. They have no clue about unnecessary amputations, the literal dissecting of our people like lab rats, the scientific experiments, the degradation of our people by flaunting them around as side show attractions or like zoo animals. Just writing this makes me want to cry, but people need to know. People need to understand what these images that they say we are too sensitive about truly represent. For ever Aunt Jemima, there is a Sara Saartjie Bartman. For every Uncle...

The only businesses losing out to the rioters and the looters are the small businesses. The big corporations,  the Targets, Wal-Marts, Best Buys, etc. they have insurance. Their asses and assets are covered. They are going to be ok. We need to be strategic in our next moves. We need to be planning instead of waiting for the next tragedy to occur. We need to be working consistently and NOT letting the whole world what our next moves will be, so that they can counter prepare. It is time. We need leaders that possess the intellectual acuity to make decisions that can get results. We need to find leaders who possess the ability to motivate us by appealing to our desires for to want better for our people,  as opposed to using anger as our main driving factor.

My child has slept all day. This isn't the first, second or even the umpteenth time. I hope and pray with everything in me she doesn't have Narcolepsy. I hope and pray with everything in me she doesn't have to go through even a fraction of what I have had to. All I know is, I am going to be there for her if it turns out she does. I will do everything in my power to make sure she knows she isn't less than. I will do everything in my power to make sure that the stigmas, the fallacies, the stereotyping the judgements that people make are flaws on them and not on her. I would never wish this illness on anyone, not even my worst enemy, and I truly hope this is just paranoia on my part. If it isn't though, I am going to make sure I am there for because I know what it was like having noone there for me and having noone who even seemed to want to try to understand how much this illness takes away and knowing that it is something I will have to deal with for as long as I wal...