I will admit that sometimes I let people get in my head. Sometimes I do it to myself. I feel guilty. I feel like maybe I didn't try hard enough, or maybe I am just not strong enough. I let those little voices get to me, the ones that say maybe you should do this or maybe you should try that. I won't lie and say it  doesn't make me feel self conscious. Today I was forced to remember what it was like before I stopped working fulltime. I was remindedhow it feels to jist hope you make it through the day without wanting to just drop to the ground. I was reminded what it feels like to not know if you will make that walk to the bus stop. I remembered what it feels like to be layed out on the ground in the front yard of some stranger, or if I am lucky enough to find some alley near enough that I can get out of plain sight. I remembered every humiliating moment someone laughed or said something catty when I had am attack. I also remembered that after all of yhis I have kept going and I have done most if it with little to no help. So for anyone with an opinion on what tgey think I can, or should be doing, they can kiss my mother fukcing asparagus biscuits 100 times over. Not one of you will be there to pick me up when I literally fall.

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