Go back to work?

I love the way people keep telling me to go back to work. Yes, go get a job I can't because I stopped working by choice. Go back to work because I didn't practically torture myself to keep working for the last couple of years despite my neurologist and pcp's advisement? Go back to work in spite of the horrible attacks two to three times a day that hold your body hostage so you can do nothing but lie there and pray they end soon? Go back to work so I can give the social security administration another reason to deny the case I have been fighting three years for? Go back to work to deal with the devastating cognitive impairment, automatic behavior, not remembering what I did or said two seconds ago and hoping it wasn't something that could get me fired? Go back to work until my body starts fighting me back again to the point where I fall in the middle of crossing a street or expressway and have to force myself to make it across before that oncoming traffic starts coming? I love you all and I know some of you are trying to get it, but you really don't get how much this takes away from you. I didn't stop working by choice. If I could have a normal life and do normal things like work, I would be so very, very happy. People say at least you won't die from it. Go talk to the many number of Narcoleptics who have fallen asleep or had attacks driving, fallen down stairs, fallen asleep cooking and set their kitchens on fire, just to name a few situations. Heck, who even knows what the suicide rate is. I haven't been able to get numbers on that yet.

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