Thoughts of a Narcoleptic Mind

PSA If you keep looking for the negative and questioning every little blessing, you will look up one day and find yourself questioning why the blessings stopped. Not everyone does something for self gain. There are people who genuinely have good hearts. There are people who are sincere in their desires to see others do better. That teacher who goes out of the way for your child in school, maybe he/she realizes they could be that one teacher to really make a difference in your child's life in helping them reach their full potential. That stranger on the street who gives you a friendly smile and hello may just be trying to brighten your day. If you look for reasons to antagonize those trying to help, don't be surprised when there is no help when you are seeking it. Recognize your blessings. Count your blessings. Share your blessings. You will be surprised by How much more joyful your life will become.

How so many choose to forget what the word nigga really means How this one word represents thousands of our people burned, mutilated, murdered, hung up until their necks were broken on trees Maybe you choose not to recognize what the word nigga was meant to symbolize It is a word used to proclaim us as less than, viewed beneath animals in the massa's eyes See over the centuries you have  been brainwashed to believe you are that nigga  that the slave master, that the family breaker, that the wife raper, that the life taker, massa so callously deemed you to be So now how about we deprogram our youth and reprogram them with the truth about what mighty people God created us to be Instead of greeting each other with "What's up my nigga" How about we stand up and prove that we really are bigger than this label that through centuries of mistreatment have now been engrained as a legitimate name  extremely  embedded in the dark crevices of our brains Let us begin to a...

There is an eternal light in everyone. Sometimes it becomes a flicker and seems like it will die out. Sometimes it seems like the light is being consumed by the darkness.  Just know, it is always there, always burning. God will always keep that light burning. Sometimes, you will have to dig a little deeper within

Pedophiles, child abusers, alcoholics, drug abusers Society labels folks without a care attributing false facts that were never there You share the stories but do you first check the facts Do you examine the sources before posting possible lies you may never be able to take back Do you assume things are truth without considering how lives could be ruined by simply sharing a story that simply exists because of the imagination of some   faceless human Do you research first because you have logically considered this could be truth or vindictive payback fro m some nameless person whose heart is bitter How many countless lies have been told how many reputations ruined as some made up history of  a very visible victim's life unfolds Stop before you follow Think before you share Don't become a part of the problem by helping tear down our communities with unverifiable information instead of lifting each other up with positive affirmations

Please lift me up in prayer. Those that know me well know I have always busted my butt. My life has revolved around my two daughters, who mean the world to me, and my responsibilities. I have worked through Bronchitis, Upper Respiratory Infections, etc. I have always been about doing What needed to be done to get the bills paid and provide a roof for my children. I always imagined working until old age for some big corporation. True, I always knew something wasn't right. I saw doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist thinking, "I will get fixed and continue working and all will be right with the world." It never occurred to me that I would be diagnosed with a chronic, incurable illness. It was like a big punch in the gut being told I would probably have to stop working. It actually took almost being fired to realize how serious it really was. A year later, however, I am still not completely out of the denial stage. I am still pushing myself, but I think I ha...

With the news of the passing of Robin Williams comes a ubiquitous irony for me as I struggle with my own demons. While I know in my head it is sad, I also understand all too well the why and how. It has only been a few days since I took the LOA paperwork from my manager for my trip, for lack of a better word. Don't misunderstood. I feel deeply for his family and friends and their loss. Somewhere along the way, however, I lost that ability to be, as people say, "thankful to have awakened in the morning." I laugh at that because Heaven and eternity in peace with our Lord Saviour is supposed to be the ultimate reward. If that is the case, what is so great about waking up another day. Let's face it; this world is full of cruel, ugly, uncaring, insensitive, selfish people. I see little beauty and little hope left. I watched a show the other day and although it is fictional, one saying stuck with me. "God doesn't want us to be happy. He wants us to be strong."...

I have learned actions speak a thousand times louder than words. I am not one who is predisposed to make snap judgements. I do notice everything though. I may not say anything about everything I see, but don't think for one minute I don't notice. Just because I am quiet in my demeanor, do not for one second underestimate my intelligence. Sometimes it is the quiet ones who spend the most time in deepest thought. Sometimes we are quiet because we realize which battles are not worth taking a second  our time to address so we just quietly move on to more important things before you have even realized it. I prayed to God for discernment and He opened my eyes to the fact that He granted me that ability long ago. It has always been there. You see I listen to not just what is said but what isn't said. I listen to how words are said and the context in which they are used. Everything from the posts you like to the pics you add to your page make a statement about your character. Faci...

What happened to discretion? I guess it has become a lost art. What happened to the days where what went on behind closed doors stayed behind closed doors? I always believed the best thing about being in a relationship was having that person by your side you were meant to grow with. I thought it was about spending your life with your best friend, your soul mate. What about two souls connecting, becoming one in God's eyes? When did relationships diminish in value to something you brag or boast about like some kind of cheap, gaudy possession? When did how big a freak a person is or what he or she will and won't do in the bedroom become a determining factor in whether a person is relationship worthy? Maybe I am naive but I thought the exciting part of relationships was learning about each other spiritually, emotionally and physically and discovering together what makes the other happy. I grew up believing that you supported each other through your struggles and that is how relatio...

No, I am nor that mother, I am not that one. No, I am not going to apologize for not being that one. I am not the one to pop my children in the mouth or curse them out if they get flippant. No, I am not trying to be their friend instead of their mother because I don't.  What I am is a tired, parhologically sleepy, cataplexic who is doing the best she can with what she has been given, which unfortunately doesn't include much moral or emotional support at all. I try to remain optimistic and positive as much as possible but it can be hard. The funny thing is it is not this disease Narcolepsy that is starting to make me bitter. It is the people around me and the stupid things they say. Well, I am about to put it all out there now, because I am tired. I don't mean because of the Narcolepsy either. I am tired of pretending I feel OK when I don't to help or support others who don't know or appreciate just how much it takes out of me.I am tired of fighting to hide or disg...

Wrong if you do, wrong if you don't....l find it amazing that will all the anger, strife, fear, danger and despair that already exists in this largely corrupt world, some people will purposely seek out the smallest of things to turn into the ugliest of situations. Point in fact, the "Bring Our Girls Back" posts are one of the ways being utilized to draw attention to the kidnapping of 200 plus Nigerian girls to bring them back home. Recently, our FLOTUS Michelle Obama tweeted a post which, for the most part, was received for what it was, a show of support. There were, of course, the usual, anti anything Obama supports is wrong. Even if they say water is wet it must not be true because it came from an Obama. The comments that stood out for me in regards to this post were, "You have the resources to do more. You can go get those girls." and "They aren't our girls." Hmmm!  Let us discuss these resources shall we. Are these the same resources that were...

I get so overly excited when I remember the spelling of a multi syllable word but most could never  imagine the constant struggle just to form a simple sentence because my brain can't grasp a hold of a single noun, or adjective or verb Just the act of thinking sometimes brings misery How can something that should be so automatic become something that now takes such difficulty And please don't mistake my attempt at awareness as a desperate search for sympathy Because by God's hand I am a much stronger person internally I can read a single paragraph two or three times and still have no comprehension There is no cohesion of words just a jumbled up litany of sentences There's this fog in my brain and a dense acid rain that prevents rarely a semblance of audible or written knowledge to get through My memory both long term and short is gone I must painstakingly take notes on everything I do from dusk until dawn I can forget what I've done in a single second I can blink...

Today I was reading an article that a very special person took the time out of her life for. She took the time to let strangers see what it is like for her everyday living with Narcolepsy. It was not something she had to do but something she wanted to do in an effort to increase awareness.  Being PWN's, (persons with Narcolepsy ) we already know there is a stigma attached to the disease.  Yes, it is officially classified as an auto-immunological disease as well as a neurological disorder.  I digress.  Anyhow, after getting my official diagnosis,  I began hearing all the want to be doctors give their assessments and opinions of what I needed to do and I just brushed it off. Reading some of the comments that I read this evening though were just on a whole other level, especially coming from complete strangers, so I am going to clarify some things. Where should I begin? I think I will start with weight gain. Most PWN do not gain weight because they are too lazy t...

I know I have been MIA, but here is my newsflash for the day. Just because someone is not having sex does not mean something is wrong with them or noone wants them. Just because someone has alot of sex doesn't mean they are all that. It is time to increase your worth. Don't be an impulse item. What does that mean you ask? Some of you are just advertising anyway you can, putting it out there for any and everyone. Just because you attract alot of attention doesn't mean you are being viewed as someone of quality.  Example: You are in the checkout line at the grocery store and your eye catches some little inexpensive knick knack. You don't really need it or want it, but it is right there in your line of sight saying, "buy my. Buy Me. BUY ME!" So you buy it because hey, it was inexpensive and it was there. If you put it out there, someone is going to pick it up. Increase your value. Don't be someone's impulse item. Next post, we will talk about convenience ...

They say God will place no more on you than you can handle. I have never considered myself a particularly strong woman. If you think about the many women before me and the countless hardships they endured, my life has been cake. I have all my limbs. I didn't live in an era of slavery or segregation. I haven't had to sleep outside, well not for an extended period of time. If I were to sit down and take inventory of my life though,  I suppose there would be an interesting little Lifetime movie there. I don't think about them or acknowledge them though because that is where my true strength would have to lie in my ability to accept all that I have accepted.  Now, God may not be giving me a choice. I love my little peanut even though she is not even here yet. I will love her regardless and I pray with all my heart that she is born perfectly healthy and happy but should that not be the case, I know she is still a special miracle from God. I don't know how it is determined ...