A Narcoleptics Ode to Cognitive Thinking

I get so overly excited when I remember the spelling of a multi syllable word but most could never  imagine the constant struggle just to form a simple sentence because my brain can't grasp a hold of a single noun, or adjective or verb
Just the act of thinking sometimes brings misery How can something that should be so automatic become something that now takes such difficulty And please don't mistake my attempt at awareness as a desperate search for sympathy Because by God's hand I am a much stronger person internally
I can read a single paragraph two or three times and still have no comprehension There is no cohesion of words just a jumbled up litany of sentences There's this fog in my brain and a dense acid rain that prevents rarely a semblance of audible or written knowledge to get through
My memory both long term and short is gone I must painstakingly take notes on everything I do from dusk until dawn I can forget what I've done in a single second I can blink my eyes, forget I am cooking and burn a dinner in time to break a world's record and it's all par for the course in my world
My ability to absorb knowledge is a gift that has long since been taken
My life has literally become a dream from which there is no awakening But I am far from lazy you see because I have to put in more than twice the effort as anyone else just to function halfway normally only to receive a fraction of the benefit I would if I didn't have this disease
So the next time you want to know why I slur my speech or am speaking so slowly or feel the need to ask why I make the faces I do then when the answers I give aren't sufficient enough to what you want to hear read my little ode so you will know how it feels to be me.

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