No Reprieve

Medications don't work for me.
There is no moment of reprieve
No intermittent sighs of relief
Rarely are their brief windows of clarity
My search for relief has become more of a dream never realized
This journey has become more of an impossible struggle to find an elusive treasure from some fairytale I was once told but have come to realize was one elaborate lie
My doubts, my fears, so many times overshadow my hopes and my faith
The confidence that I once held onto so dearly has ever so subtly begun to dissipate

Comments

  1. Tyrone FerraraJune 7, 2017 at 9:03 PM

    Keep hope alive.
    I've been experience some things that seem to be reversing my narcolepsy. It has even allowed me to come off my Meds and I'm feeling more alert and focused. I don't know, I might even be sleeping better.
    It may sound strang but I think I have been selected to be used as a ginny-pig without even asking me or telling me what's being done. It's kind of fuc_ed up but what I'm experiencing, gives me reason to keep hope alive.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Narcolepsy: Idiocy vs Actuality

Today I was reading an article that a very special person took the time out of her life for. She took the time to let strangers see what it is like for her everyday living with Narcolepsy. It was not something she had to do but something she wanted to do in an effort to increase awareness.  Being PWN's, (persons with Narcolepsy ) we already know there is a stigma attached to the disease.  Yes, it is officially classified as an auto-immunological disease as well as a neurological disorder.  I digress.  Anyhow, after getting my official diagnosis,  I began hearing all the want to be doctors give their assessments and opinions of what I needed to do and I just brushed it off. Reading some of the comments that I read this evening though were just on a whole other level, especially coming from complete strangers, so I am going to clarify some things. Where should I begin? I think I will start with weight gain. Most PWN do not gain weight because they are too lazy t...
Read more

Formation Represents Self Recognition

I can't say I am the biggest Beyonce fan. Sure, I like some of her music, and I respect the fact that she works hard, but that is about the extent of it. I think she is human,  just like the rest of us, with maybe a tad bit too much exposure. Well, recently, Beyonce stunned the world,  yet again, by releasing another surprise single titled Formation. It is a very visually creative piece that possesses quite a few social undertones. Now whether people are stans, simply fans, or not a fan at all,  the video certainly has people talking. And as with pretty much most of today's race related topics, the issue of blacks seperating themselves has become a subject of conversation. Also, there are some who question the timing and the motivation of the video. There are those who think it is just another calculated business move. There are some who praise it for touching on areas that are greatly in need of social change. Regardless of intent, there is a deep message in the vi...
Read more

I Will Not Apologize

People get upset when I say that they can't possibly understand what it is like to live with a chronic illness unless you share that illness. They don't always understand that reading about and researching it isn't the same as living it. People don't understand that Narcolepsy and Cataplexy are a part of me and and they dictate, not me, a lot of my responses. I can see how it might be hard to understand that I am not brushing off or ignoring situations because I don't respond the way I should. I get that it is hard to comprehend that my seemingly lack if emotion is a necessity for me to make it through. It is as automatic to me as breathing and it us NOT going to change. Narcolepsy is an awful illness but coupled with Cataplexy, it can be almost unbearable if you don't make some unnatural adjustments. I can't show you what it feels like. If you don't have it, all I can do is try to give you a glimpse. Imagine if every time someone at work frustrated yo...
Read more